Fourth and Dumb

Last week, as seems to be the norm around FnD HQ, was a strange one. We all think alike at times, which can be great (Oklahoma State) or disastrous (Oklahoma, Florida State), and makes things a bit streaky.

We started off well, but the losses by Oklahoma and FSU automatically put everyone down two games, and the Va Tech, Duke and Rutgers losses were also quite damaging. But now we have week 1 behind us, and a slightly more accurate gauge of who has lived up to the hype, so far. On to week 2!

This week’s guest picker is Ahmad Ragab from the University of South Florida, and is quite bullish on several of this weekend’s favorites. Ahmad is a graduate student at the University of South Florida (Go Bulls!), not-so-doggedly pursuing a Masters Degree in Religious Studies. Raised in Blacksburg, Virginia (Go Hokies!) he hopes to continue his graduate studies in some department to be named later, so that he can continue to live the sweet sexy student life, which has allowed him to enjoy college football at student ticket prices while simultaneously engaging in unapologetic boosterism. Ahmad attributes his unassailable authority as a college football commentator to his experience as a member of the Cornell University Varsity Football team (Go Big Red!) while an undergraduate far above Cayuga’s waters.

Read on for commentary and analysis. Continue reading ‘Pick ‘Em – Week 2’ »

Chris wins Championship week, going a combined 16-5 in the last three weeks and making a serious move towards the top. But now…

It’s the Fourth and Dumb Bowl Week Extravaganza!

Your four intrepid writers have nothing better to do than to pick all 34 bowl games, so that’s what we’re going to do. This one decides who wins it all.

Commentary and analysis after the jump.
Continue reading ‘Pick ‘Em – Bowl Week Extravaganza – Part 1’ »

Okay, so I’ve run a quizbowl tournament and survived, and I apologize to our legions of fans for letting you down by not giving you a recap last week. So let’s get to it.

Our conference slate got started last Thursday when Auburn played like Auburn for about a half before the roof caved in. But West Virginia’s speed and actual ability to run the spread offense spelled doom for the WarTigerEagles. Rumblings from the Plains make me think that boosters there are probably willing to give Tubby one more season after this one to get back to the top of the West, but that’s only barring a complete collapse this year. And they better start by beating Ole Miss in Oxford Saturday. Knocking off an undefeated Tide team for their seventh straight win in the Iron Bowl will protect him no matter what, but that’s looking like a bigger long shot than McCain in Pennsylvania.

Phat Phil’s season didn’t get any better Saturday, with the Tide beating his protuberant buttocks like Jack Costanzo on the bongos (Hey, he’s the first guy who comes up on Google for famous bongo drummers). So, update: Tide good, Vols bad. This Saturday the Tide gets another win vs. Arky State, and the Vols get their sixth loss against the Fighting ‘Cocks.

Arkansas had its chances to try to justify its firing of Houston Nutt by beating the Rebels, but they failed, as of course Arkansas must. Amazingly to me, the Razorbacks are actually favored by 8 (!) against Tulsa, but take those points and the Golden Hurricane; hell, take them to win! They played poorly against UCF, and the slow Arkansas defense will have a hard time with their weird sets. Ole Miss hosts Auburn, as mentioned above, and right now I’d take Ole Miss–Auburn’s got hard times.

Vanderbilt, as my colleague Dan Greenstein pointed out, seems to have fallen apart lately. Right now they appear to be in big trouble for that elusive sixth win I so smartly have been guaranteeing for them for a couple weeks. Their next four? Florida at home, Kentucky on the road, Tennessee at home, Wake Forest on the road. Oh, my. The easiest pickings will be the Vols, and that’s a rivalry game against a team that will be beaten, bruised, and snot covered, aching for some sense of dignity. How awful to start 5-0 and then go 0-7. Not farfetched right now, I’m afraid.

And the big game I forgot? Miss State upheld conference pride against MTSU! Oh, and Florida absolutely buried Kentucky and Georgia’s offense crushed LSU. Boy, are those two teams setting up for the third Battle of Megiddo this weekend or what? Florida’s players are offering angry-sounding “No comments” to every question about the infamous Georgia stomp of last year, and Georgia is showing that it can run despite a seriously depleted offensive line. For SEC fans this is clearly the game of the regular season (though seeing the winner play Bama will be even bigger, as it will either be a rematch of the Georgia debacle or a chance to see another Florida-Bama championship game). For pure speed and athletic talent, there might not be a better game this year. Look for Tebow to go over the top a few times in the first half to Louis Murphy, who’s been pretty quiet thus far. And look for Georgia to try to push Knowshon Moreno through the tackles as often as possible and to take shots at the left side of the Gator defensive backfield whether freshman Janoris Jenkins is able to play or not.

Most important, look for a feisty Gator team to win and for some ugly fights in the stands if Meyer goes for a late score in a game that’s out of hand.

PS–Why is Miss State favored over Kentucky in Starkville? Is it because of how badly UF beat them down? The ‘Cats should find a way to win that game with the freshman QB Randall Cobb.

Hey look, Chris won the week! Picking against the chalk and conventional wisdom proved fruitful, bringing him within four games of .500 for the season.

There’s a great slate of matchups this week; there will be contenders eliminated after this week. Hopefully none of them will have to face Nitro in the Joust.

Clemson (+2.5) at #21 Wake Forest, Thursday 7:30pm ESPN
Chris: Wake Forest will beat Clemson because Clemson is coached by Tommy Bowden, who may distracted by how good his players look in their tight pants.

#4 LSU (+6) at #11 Florida, Sat 8:00pm CBS
Chris: Florida will slip by LSU by single digits on the strength of some long runs by Chris Rainey and Jeff Demps and strong linebacker play which will limit LSU’s run game (a little) and force them to try to win through the air, not their strong suit this year.
DanGr: The Gator loss to Ole Miss revealed some cracks in the foundation. The Tigers will turn those cracks into breaches behind the steady play of newfound prime quarterback Jarrett Lee. Granted, LSU is not without flaws, which Florida will use to keep this close until the end. The oddsmakers pick LSU to lose by 6, which they will be doing before a successful nutjob, brass ball Les Miles decision in the final minute.

#5 Texas (+6.5) at #1 Oklahoma, Sat 12:00pm ABC
DanGo: IThe Big 12 has begun to resemble the NBA All-Star game — who the hell plays defense at these things? Rice and Tulsa combined for 1030 yards, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the Longhorns and Sooners surpassed that.
DanGr: The Sooners always come to play hard in Dallas, something Texas can only surmount when the Longhorns are clearly superior on paper. Some things never change. Add another notch–not to mention a ten gallon hat–to the belt of Bob Stoops.

South Carolina (-1) at Kentucky, Sat 12:30pm Raycom
DanGo: South Carolina may be a slim favorite in this game, but the ‘Cats have peaked more recently, even though they were given a bit of a boost by Leigh Tiffin’s leg. Kentucky wins in a squeaker.

Notre Dame (+7.5) at #22 North Carolina, Sat 3:30pm ABC/ESPN
DanGr: North Carolina is ranked for the first time since 2001. Notre Dame is not ranked, which is just as good since if they were they would be called overrated. Both teams are greatly improved over last year, but only one of them can win this week. Bruce Carter will be the different for the Tar Heels as he blocks at least one punt to make the difference in a close game.

#6 Penn State (-6) at Wisconsin, Sat 8:00pm ESPN
DanGo: Wisconsin’s chances for legitimacy disappeared after back-to-back close losses to Michigan and Ohio State on consecutive weekends. Penn State is for real, and Wisconin will drop three straight.

#17 Oklahoma State (+14) at #3 Missouri, Sat 8:00pm ESPN2
Chris: Missouri will beat the living hell out of Oklahoma State, though the Cowboys will score some points on Mizzou’s defense. Mike Van Gundy will then call his brothers Stan and Jeff to cry, even though he’s a man who’s now 41.

Congratulations to Fred, who picked every single game correctly last week, in what has proven to be the most competitive week so far in this season.

I’d also like to issue some heartfelt condolences to Chris, who lost his senses the week after deciding to pick against the chalk, save for Michigan and Boise State. Well, at least he got one game right.

It’s a close race at the top, with only one game separating DanGr and Fred. Why the hell DID you pick UVa in Week 1, Greenstein?

On to week 4!

#20 Utah (-7.5) at Air Force, Sat 4:00 PM Versus
Fred: Hope everyone’s prepared for a BCS contender delivering a curbstomp.
Chris: Whatever.

#6 LSU (-2) at #10 Auburn, Sat 7:45 pm ESPN
Chris: LSU runs, runs, runs over Auburn, whose QBs combine for less than 200
yards passing.
DanGr: Auburn’s offense will do slightly better against LSU’s defense than LSU’s offense will do against Auburn’s defense. (My brain hurts. – Ed.)

Boise State (+12.5) at #17 Oregon, Sat 3:30 pm
DanGr: This team is probably the second best in the league and they will show it against the Broncos. This should be over before the fourth quarter.

Central Michigan (+10.5) at Purdue, Sat 12pm Big Ten Network
DanGr: Central Michigan is a decent team, but the speed and strength of the Boilermakers will prevail in West Lafayette.
Chris: Central Michigan’s Tebow knock-off QB goes wild. And if they’re not the one with the Tebow knock-off, so what; some guy on their offense will run wild.

#18 Wake Forest (+4.5) at #24 Florida State, Sat 7pm ESPN2
Chris: The Noles’ running game will gash the Dekes, and Preston Parker’s
return will help Christian Ponder make some big plays.
DanGo: I still find it hard to give Florida State a lot of credit, putting up points on two defenseless (literally) SoCon teams. Wake Forest may not be that awesome, but they’ll tough it out while Jimbo Fisher’s future tenure starts fading away.

Iowa (+1.5) at Pittsburgh, Sat 12pm ESPN2
Fred: Oh boy, the Overrated Coach Bowl! I’m going to gargle bleach
rather than watch this crap.
Chris: Why did I pick this game? Seriously, what’s wrong with me?

Miami (FL) (-3) at Texas A&M, Sat 3:30pm ABC
Fred: Miami is slightly above average. Texas A&M is actively bad.

Florida State gets the Demon Deacons at home Saturday, and I’m thinking that their entire season is riding on this game. In Orlando the paper’s been filled with stories along the lines of “Gosh, isn’t it crazy that FSU is going to measure itself against these wacky Dekes whom they used to scrape off their shoes,” which I suppose is a good angle, but how big this game is going to be for the Noles isn’t being emphasized.

If FSU loses this game at home they not only have what’s essentially a two-game deficit in the ACC Atlantic, but the hit to their program’s pride would be nearly incalculable. That FSU could lose three in a row, two at home, to Wake would not only confirm Wake’s passing them in the conference, but it would also crush the spirit of their fans, who have to watch the hated Gators comfortably inhabiting the top ten and even the USF Bulls encroaching on their recruiting territory. It also would put tremendous heat on Jimbo Fisher, whom I think fans are ready to start blaming instead of Saint Bobby.

On the other hand, a win, even a close, ugly win, will bring joy to the Noles and their mulleted fans, along with a belief that Jimbo’s the guy. Even if they end up 9-3 or 8-4, a win Saturday gives Seminole Nation a feeling that they’re back. They know they’re not going to beat Florida this year, so they’re not sweating that. But they need to get back on top of the ACC sooner rather than later. But losing to the Dekes will destroy this season for them.

So as the great football philosophers De La Soul put it, stakes is high in Tally this weekend. I think the return of Preston Parker and Budd Thacker will energize the Nolies and give them a close win. What do y’all think? Can the Noles absorb a loss here and be okay?

The conference’s marquee game this week was obviously Georgia’s gritty win up in Columbia against the Gamecocks. As a rabid Gator, I want to say that the Dawgs have nothing to apologize for in that win. The Ball Coach takes great pride in vexing Georgia (see last year and damn near every year when he was in Gainesville), and the Georgia D did a great job of shutting down SC for most of the game and then making big plays to force turnovers in the fourth quarter. Matt Stafford didn’t have a big game, but he made a couple throws that have to scare Vols and Gator fans. And this game left me thinking that SC likely has the best overall defense in the conference, even better than LSU with its vaunted front four.  So it’s a good win for the Dawgs, but I assume that Georgia fans were bummed out by Arizona State’s bad loss to UNLV. They still have to go out to Tempe and beat those guys, but now no one’s going to be that impressed. And if they struggle, they’ll hear it.

Of course, the Dawgs-Cocks match-up seemed like an Arena game compared to the Auburn-Miss. State scrum. Shug Jordan appeared from beyond the grave on the sidelines in the third quarter, begging Tommy Tuberville to open it up a little bit. I mean, I know Auburn is getting its young QBs used to the spread, but if they don’t throw it downfield a little more, they’re not going to be able to score on Bama or LSU. And they may not no matter what they do.

Since Arkansas’s scheduled thrashing by Texas was postponed by Hurricane Ike and because every other SEC school was playing some directional school or hyphenated school, the other very interesting result concerning the league took place way out west in Utah. BYU beat UCLA 59-0, FITTY NINE to NUTTIN!!!! I know we’re not supposed to put much credence into math’s transitive property when applied to college football (you know, A is greater than B, and B is greater than C, so A is greater than C; of course, I’m a literature guy, so if I have the wrong property name, I’m sure some smartyboots will let me know), but this is the same UCLA team that got some serious offense going against Tennessee in the second half. If they couldn’t put up a friggin’ point on BYU while giving up 59, mustn’t we assume that either A) BYU had a really freakisly good game while UCLA didn’t, or B) holy mackerel, Tennessee might really blow. The Vols’ slow start against UAB predisposes me to lean toward option B. Perhaps it’s worth noting that the Gators hung 59 on Tennessee last year, too. After a sluggish offensive performance against the ‘Canes, expect UF to roll big on UT, thankfully limiting the times we’ll have to hear “Rocky Top.”

And Week Four promises other good games. Bama goes to Arkansas, where they should be able to notch a win, but as my colleague DanGR likes to put it, we’ll learn something about them on the way. I think they should win by 7-10, but it’s a roadie in the SEC, always potentially tough. Even better we have LSU at Auburn. LSU’s QB situation, despite the points they’ve been putting up, is unstable at best, but they’re so good at RB and WR that they should be able to beat the War PlainsTigers by 4-6 in another low-scoring slugger. I’m actually interested in the Vandy at Ole Miss game, as the Rebs’ near miss in Wake Forest leaves me wondering whether they’re that good or the Dekes not so good. If Vandy wins, they’ll be 4-0, and even Vandy might be able to get six wins after a 4-0 start! They’ll still have Duke on the schedule–hell, that means they’ll have five locked up after Saturday with a win. Finally, a nearly full slate of good games for the country’s best conference.

With Week 1 in the books, it’s time to move on to week 2.

Chris and Fred split the first week’s results, having the foresight to pick Michigan losing in the Big House, and each going 5-2 for the week.

Here’s the rundown for week 2:

Miami (FL) (+20.5) at #5 Florida, Sat 8pm ESPN
Chris: The Gators’ offense should crack 40 on the Canes; can Marve lead his team to more than 17? No.
DanGr: This would have been a sweet game four years ago, but Miami is no longer Miami.

Georgia Tech (+7) at Boston College, Sat 12pm Raycom Sports
DanGr: the Ramblin’ Wreck heads to Chestnut Hill to test the totally awesome triple option against a real defense. Let it be known here that Coach Jags of the Eagles will adjust pretty well to it with his talent on hand and will hold off GA Tech at home.

Air Force (+3) at Wyoming, Sat 3:30pm CBS College
DanGr: Air Force is one of those schools that runs the totally awesome triple option, so this should be fun to watch, if you can find this game on television. Wyoming should have a better defense than Southern Utah, and the game is at home, so that should help the cause. Still, I am taking the Falcons to run away from the Cowboys.

Minnesota (+6) at Bowling Green, Sat 7:30pm ESPNU
Fred: The “Team most likely to undeservedly get top 25 votes based off a win over terrible Minnesota” Award goes to… Bowling Green!

Mississippi (+8) at #20 Wake Forest, Sat 3:30pm
DanGo: The ACC continues to be overrated, and Houston Nutt pulls out the upset on the road in a soggy Winston-Salem.

#8 West Virginia (-8) at East Carolina, Sat 4:30pm ESPN
DanGo: East Carolina was undervalued by a lot of teams prior to their meeting with a decimated Virginia Tech team. A win is still a win, but Pat White is not Sean Glennon.

Akron (+4.5) at Syracuse, Sat 3:30pm Time Warner-NY
Fred: I am going to make pictures of Greg Robinson looking very sad at opposing teams while using large font overlays on said pictures to make lots of money off the website www.icanhastouchdown.com .

Considering the vehemence with which most fans will argue over which BCS conference is the best, I’ve been surprised in the lead-up to this season how few folks seem willing to deny that the SEC is the strongest. Yeah, there are always some yahoos with their Bucknut helmets or miniature Boomer Sooner replicas who won’t back down, but most pundits and even fans seem lately to concede Southern football dominance.

The opening weekend offered a couple dings to the conference’s pride, though. First, let me offer my thanks to Jonathan Crompton for spraying balls all over the field last night and making me stay up well past my bedtime just to watch the Vols’ kicker Daniel Lincoln crap the bed by missing a 37-yarder in overtime. I had figured to sack out by my usual old-guy bedtime of around 10 pm, with the Vols firmly in control. But they let a kid throw four picks in the first half while only building a seven-point lead. Nice work, new offensive coordinator Dave Clawsen! I guess there ARE small differences between game planning for your Richmond team’s game versus Mars Hill college and getting ready for an average Pac-10 team.  I look forward to hearing how Phat Phil thinks his offense can beat UGA, UF, SC, or Bama this year.  Then there was the little-remarked-upon choke by the Bulldogs no one cares about, the ones from Mississippi State, who let Louisiana Tech outscore them 13-0 in the second half in Ruston to lose 22-14. I presume our colleague Dan Greenstein will be amenable to officially putting Sly Croom on the hot seat after that one.

On the other hand, Kentucky, despite losing seemingly every significant offensive skill player except that Dicky Lyon, Jr., got all over Louisville (not a huge upset but a bit of a surprise), and a sloppy South Carolina team got it together in the second half to whomp NC State (granted, not a good ACC team, which is saying a lot in that conference). Most of the rest of the conference dined on those tasty directional cupcakes, though one could argue that Ole Miss did a little better than that by scoring 41 on a decent Memphis team.

All in all not the kind of start to confirm BEST CONFERENCE IN THE LAND status, but none of those results, including the Tennessee stinkiness, deny it, either.  Only one game in the upcoming weekend has a single-digit spread, that being an intriguing test for Ole Miss (+8) playing at Wake Forest. If Ole Miss can pull an upset there, meaning maybe the 7th or 8th best SEC team beat what might be the best ACC team (after Clemson and Va Tech’s troubles), then conference boosters will have some real reason to crow.

The Holding Penalty is a semi-regular feature, running down the latest events in college football’s police blotter.

COLLEGE STATION, TX – Texas A&M footballers Yemi Babalola and Brandon Joiner have been indicted on charges of felony robbery after allegedly entering the apartment of a drug dealer and mugging him at gunpoint. Search warrants executed at the homes of the two suspects turned up marijuana, ecstasy and hydrocodone among other evidence. Joiner, a redshirt freshman defensive end, was also charged with a felony count of manufacturing or delivering methamphetamines, and two counts of posessing marijuana and hydrocodone, both misdemeanors. Babalola, an offensive tackle who made six starts last season, was also charged with misdemeanor marijuana possession.

STATE COLLEGE, PA – Things aren’t so happy in Happy Valley, at least not for DT Chris Baker, LB Navorro Bowman and CB Knowledge Timmons. All three players have been removed from the squad following a fight at the campus student union last October. Baker and Bowman have both been charged with felony assault and Timmons with misdemeanor disorderly conduct. The athletes also face potential action from the Office of Judicial Affairs. According to a source at Penn State, Coach Paterno said that the players’ legal issues had become a “distraction” to the team.

WINSTON-SALEM, N.C. – Wake Forest redshirt freshman RB Luke Caparelli decided that it would be a great idea to post something on Facebook. No big deal, lots of people do that. Caparelli, however, decided to post a less than sane message on the site, written in the third person, threatening to “blow up campus” and “for those left standing he will have an uzi locked and loaded in his bag.” Caparelli was dismissed from the football squad and the university, and has acknowledged writing the statement. According to Forsyth County District Attorney Tom Keith, charges are pending further investigation.

CHAMPAIGN, IL – Freshman LB Erique Robertson was arrested and charged with reckless discharge of a firearm and two counts of aggravated unlawful use of a weapon following an incident outside a Champaign bar on the morning of January 27th. A group of approximately 75 people were gathered in a parking lot outside a bar following a fight, where witnesses saw a man discharge a firearm. There were no injuries reported. Robertson was arrested and released on a $50,000 bond, and has been suspended from the team indefinitely by head coach Ron Zook.

JACKSON, MS – Quarterback recruit Jared Foster, currently of Mississippi Gulf Coast Community College, was scheduled to join Ole Miss on National Signing Day. That won’t happen, following an arrest for selling steroids to a “confidential informant.” Foster, who is currently enrolled in classes at Ole Miss and was set to join the team on February 6, has been removed from the team and will not be able to practice this spring. This is Foster’s second arrest; last year he was arrested and charged with assault, pleading guilty.

KNOXVILLE, TN – Apparently Coach Fulmer’s threats of 6am runs didn’t sink in with his team. OG Anthony Parker was arrested over the weekend and charged with disorderly conduct following an incident in an apartment complex parking lot. Knoxville police officers asked the group to disperse, and Parker, a junior and Second Team All-American, refused and was arrested and released on $500 bond. This makes Parker the fourth Tennessee player to be arrested or charged in this off-season. Parker will remain on the team, but Coach Fulmer has said that he will be subjected to morning runs, curfew, community service, and police ride-alongs, among other punishments.