Fourth and Dumb

Well, sure–most (honest) heterosexual males would, and probably a lot of homosexual ones, too, if only out of curiosity. But we should have to go about it the old-fashioned way: not be married (that’s an important part of the process), meet her in a bar, make a good opening play (bring up her status as a sorority girl at UF, for instance, and pretend you met her at a ZTA tiki lounge party in ‘97, unless you’re like under 20 or over 45 and can’t bring that off), and hope things go your way. They probably wouldn’t, but at least you made an honest effort.

However, going online to find video shot by some scumbag without her knowledge and against her will is NOT the way to go about this. I first saw the story about this yesterday and found it cosmically fitting that hackers already have embedded nasty viruses in most sites offering the footage. Hackers as defenders of decency? Who knew? It’s also any instructive example of hypcritical irony to see a bit on CNN about it in which the talking head tut-tuts about how awful it is that someone shot such a video while showing stills from it.

Besides, Erin should only be allowed to be seen in the buff by her one true love, Tim Tebow, who, of course, wouldn’t look. This is one of the many paradoxes associated with Tim Tebow, along with the one about whether Tim could make a rock so big he couldn’t lift it.

PS–Hey, we’re going to start writing stuff again! Alert the MSM! Start checking in! SEC Media Days are this week, and I’ll try to offer some poor and/or obvious insights into it!

“I don’t think there’s anybody in the country who can beat us at this point.”–Colt McCoy, after beating Ohio State with a last-second pass.

“With all due respect, I don’t think anybody can beat us.”–Pete Carroll, after beating Penn State.

Boy, there’s nothing like the confidence of folks whose teams are finished. McCoy’s comment particularly galls me, considering he said this after needing a late comeback and a ridiculously close spot on a fourth down conversion to beat now-perennial BCS doormat Ohio State. Seriously, does barely beating the Buckeyes have some cache I’m not aware of, giving one the right to suggest his team is unbeatable?

Both McCoy and Carroll have legit beefs with the BCS selection process this year, but only the Trojans made a true statement about their snub, and even their win is at least a tiny bit suspect, considering how poorly the Big Ten fared in bowls this year and how bad they’ve been in the BCS the last few years.

I’ll tell you this much: watching Texas whiff on tackle attempts at Beanie Wells and Terrelle Pryor has to again call into question Big 12 defenses. Fortunately for the Gators, they have what Oklahoma DB Dominique Franks rates as the fourth-best quarterback in the Big 12–take that Stephen McGee and Joe Ganz!

The Holding Penalty is a semi-regular feature, running down the latest events in college football’s police blotter.

More criminal charges than you can shake a stick at, including: two pot smokers, two DUIs, and a punter in the dog house. All this, and Mount Fulmer’s about ready to blow his top in this orange and white edition of the Holding Penalty, after the jump.
Continue reading ‘The Holding Penalty – Rocky Top Edition’ »

The Holding Penalty is a semi-regular feature, running down the latest events in college football’s police blotter.

It’s been a while since we’ve had one, but we’ve got plenty to run down in this episode, after the jump.
Continue reading ‘The Holding Penalty – 3/19/08’ »

We feel for you, Trey. We feel for you.

(Thanks to The Big Lead for the image!)

In the category of things that make Chris Borglum proud, a Daily Double! Drunken fan cheers Gators on.

I found this on my morning blog check on Deadspin – apparently, Missouri is bringing the muscle on a guy who owns a site that mocks Missouri athletics.

“The bottom line here is that this is a silly, juvenile little fan blog that has been nothing more than an amusement for me. If they want to acquire it, then they can approach me. But to throw me up against the locker and shake me down for it,” Lozano said, “my reaction is going to be ‘No.’ ” – Richard Lozano, owner of missouritigers.com.

Keep on fighting the good fight, my man.

Dig the new logo, though:

When does a big-time SEC football coach seriously recruit an athlete who stands 5′2″ and weighs about 115 pounds? When she’s living with the 6′4″, 220-pound wide receiver with a 4.4 forty time, that’s when!

 Florida coach Urban Meyer is insisting that no secondary violations occurred in his recruiting of juco-transfer WR Carl Moore. Moore’s girlfriend, gymnast Maranda Smith, opened the kettle of worms when she told a reporter that she spoke to Meyer “every day back in November” while Meyer was courting Moore. The big problem here is that most of November is no-contact time for coaches and recruits, so if Smith is being serious, Meyer could be in trouble with the NCAA. Of course, the way a lot of college kids talk, “every day” could mean three times, and Smith has subsequently said that she was “seriously misquoted” (an aside: boy, professional reporters sure can’t get take down quotes right when athletes say crazy stuff, huh–they’re ALWAYS misquoted).

 Further, Smith, who had been enrolled at UCLA and competed for their gymnastics team in the 2006-7 season but was redshirted for this year, was recruited by UF coach Rhonda Faehn and is now, surprise!, enrolled at UF and competing for the #1-ranked Gator squad.

UF is investigating the case and has notified the SEC. But to break out the old cliche from NASCAR, in college football recruiting, if you ain’t cheatin’ (a little), you ain’t tryin’.

The Holding Penalty is a semi-regular feature, running down the latest events in college football’s police blotter.

KNOXVILLE, TN – The current freshman class at the University of Tennessee has become popular with the Knoxville Police Department as of late. On Jan 11, freshman WRs Gerald Jones and Ahmad Paige were arrested for posession of marijuana following a traffic stop. Freshman RB Daryl Vereen was charged on Jan 21 with public intoxication. Not a good two weeks for Phil Fulmer’s Vols, so how does he respond? By sending his team on a 6am run.

STILLWATER, OK – Oklahoma State TE Brandon Pettigrew was arrested on Jan 20 following an early morning police visit. A group of 10-15 people was asked to disperse, and Pettigrew, in his infinite wisdom, said no. After he allegedly elbowed an officer in the chest, he was arrested and charged with public intoxication and felony assault and battery of a police officer. Pettigrew was arraigned on Jan 22, pleading not guilty. His next court date is set for March 3.

ATHENS, GA – Freshman FB Fred Munzenmaier was given a two-game suspension following an arrest for underage posession of alcohol. According to the report, Munzenmaier was walking in the street, waiving his arms and tried to flag down a police car, thinking he was hailing a taxi. He accused the local pols of having a point system for local points, and that they have it “out for them”. The inebriated athlete, clearly of sound mind, then lobbed an expletive at the officer as part of a request to be quiet. Coach Mark Richt decided that Munzenmaier should sit for the first two games, against Georgia Southern and Central Michigan, as a result. Munzenmaier only had one rushing attempt for six yards and a touchdown last season, so I suspect that he may have been picking up splinters either way.

Munzenmaier wasn’t the only Dawg in trouble Saturday night. Sophomore DB Donavon Baldwin was also arrested after being stopped for driving under the influence and improper driving. Baldwin has been suspended for the season opener against Georgia Southern.

Apparently, top recruit and failed performer Xavier Lee  left FSU because he was asked to move to tight end. Hey, if you provide the kind of production he did at quarterback, you better believe he won’t move because he knows where he’ll best serve the team. That place being somewhere else.