Fourth and Dumb

Over a Florida fan, that is.

You’ve probably heard that a radio reporter in Fayetteville was fired after being admonished by Bobby “Arkansas Razorback to the Core!” Petrino for wearing her Gators baseball cap to a media session.

Renee Gork, the reporter in question, is indeed a Florida grad; hasn’t she been punished enough just by having to live in Fayetteville?

Anyway, back to the story, Gork apparently asked ol’ Bobby a question, and after answering, he said something about how he was not going to answer any more of her questions while she was wearing that hat.

You’ll excuse me for finding this kind of amusing. I’m guessing Petrino wouldn’t have known for sure that Arkansas and Florida were in the same conference when he got hired, though I guess that’s not fair since he did spend 12 games in Auburn as their OC when they went undefeated under Terry Bowden, one of his SEVEN stops in the last 14 seasons.

I suppose you can’t blame Bobby, whose panties are probably still in a bit of a bunch over some tough calls in his close loss at the Swamp last year (not to mention the beating from the previous season). And there’s absolutely no question that Gork shouldn’t have worn any kind of team gear to a media session as a reporter. Way back in my youth, when my co-bloggers here were shittin’ yeller (or at least more so), I covered the Gators for the Independent Florida Alligator, so I got to go to post-practice sessions and regular media lunches and such when Galen Hall was coach, and though most of the pro hacks I worked with had graduated from UF, no one would have dreamed of wearing a Gators hat (or a Bama hat, or a Yankees jacket, or a Steelers shirt) to anything while working. It’s just not done.

However, Petrino didn’t need to make a stink about it out loud in front of the other hacks. That just guaranteed that crazy fans would hassle the station and kill this woman’s job. Of course, there’s been some boo-hooing about her losing that job, but something tells me she’ll be fine. Maybe she’ll be one of the gals on the next The Bachelor or something.

At least she wasn’t wearing a Louisville or Falcons hat; that might have gotten ol’ Bobby to pop her one.

PS–12 DAYS TILL THE FIRST GAME!!!!

As most of us expected, Alabama proved to be too much for Texas last night, but surely everyone on earth is wondering if it would have been different if Colt McCoy had not gotten hurt on the fifth play of the game. The UT freshman QB Garrett Gilbert finally warmed up a bit in the late second half and got Texas to 24-21, and after the Longhorns’ D shut down a Bama drive, Gilbert and the offense got the ball inside their fifteen yard line with less than three minutes to go: just your standard national-championship-winning drive of 85+-yards staring a true frosh in the face.

Kirby Smart called a good LB blitz, Anders crushed the kid, and Bama won its first NC of the 21^st century.

Good for them. That’s why you hire Nick Satan—to win you a NC. Of course, with that guy one always has to wonder if/when he’s going to leave. Is it possible for him to stay in Tuscaloosa for 15 years or so until retirement? Certainly there’s not a better college job out there (equal jobs exist, but there’s no place where one can recruit and win any better). You have to think that Saban will want another shot at the NFL someday, but Bama fans can likely rest easy for a couple years anyway.

Of course, like all Gators, I’m already scoping the Tide out for next year. UF goes to Tuscaloosa on October 2 of next year, where they’ll presumably be playing the #1-ranked, defending national champions. Both teams will have lost significant performers, though it looks a little worse for the Gators due to the diminished shine in the absence of Timmy Tebow’s halo.

Gators lose: Tebow, WR Riley Cooper, OLs Pouncey twins (or at least Mike), TE Aaron Hernandez, S Joe Haden, MLB Brandon Spikes, OLB Ryan Stamper, DE Jermaine Cunningham, probably DE Carlos Dunlap.

Tide loses: RB Roy Upchurch, CBs Javier Arenas and Tyrone King, OLB Anders, DT Terence Cody, Kicker Tiffin, both punters, two OL starters, and almost certainly MLB and defensive captain Rolando McClain.

Again, the Gators’ losses seem worse because of Tebow’s moving on, but most observers are pretty confident in the ability of redshirt junior John Brantley to step in and throw it better than Tebow ever did. They lose the running at the QB position, but they get back Percy Harvin impersonator Andre Debose, who was hurt before the first game.

Bama gets another year of Greg McElroy and Mark Ingram, and we can expect to see a lot more of the home-run-threat running of Trent Richardson.

Alabama should be preseason #1, and I figure the Gators to be around 4-5. The game in Tuscaloosa actually may not end up mattering too much, as it very likely could be just round one between the Gators and the Tide in 2010. If nothing else, it’s pretty clear that those two teams have set themselves up as the twin peaks of the SEC, and the road to the national title will have to include stops in their home cities.

Has any college football team in history had to deal with more on- and off-field drama in a season than this year’s Florida Gators? They started with the insanely high expectations of fans and the adoration of Tebow, followed by the Tebow concussion craziness, the Brandon Spikes eye gouge, the Carlos Dunlap DUI, the departure of a bunch of assistants at the end of the year.

And now this.

Everybody in the US even remotely interested in CFB already knows all the details, so let’s dispense with that. How about a couple questions, though. First, why on earth would Meyer feel the need to announce this six days before the game? If he was (originally) sure he was going to resign, why not wait till after the game? Was he trying to fire up a lackluster team? Further, why would Florida AD Jeremy Foley let him make such an announcement so quickly? Didn’t he learn from the Billy Donovan saga of a couple years ago that coaches can and will change their minds? Shouldn’t he have told Urban to wait a couple days to send out that release?

More important, what will the effects of this be on the Gators? In the immediate future, it has certainly damaged their 2010 recruiting class. Florida’s overall #1-rated player, athlete Matt Elam (a QB/RB/DB for Palm Beach Dwyer expected to play safety for the Gators), has waffled on his oral commit, and DE Leon Orr and a couple others are said to be listening to other teams. Still, most of those guys report being reassured by Meyer’s “gut feeling” that he’ll be on the sidelines next fall. But what about the guys still out there? National top ten players Seantrel Henderson (#1 overall), Ronald Powell, and Jackson Jeffcoat all had the Gators high on their list, but will they want to commit to a school far away (none are from the Southeast) where there’s so much uncertainty?

And worse, what about future recruiting? Certainly other SEC teams will tell recruits that they can’t trust that Meyer will be able to finish out their time at UF, even if he comes back next fall and has coached for ten years. There will always be the “Hey, that guy’s gonna walk any day now” attack to be made.

Besides, I think we’re all simply assuming that because Meyer has this gut feeling he’s coming back that he’s going to do so. What if Meyer’s health does keep him from returning? Will the Gates be stuck with Steve Addazio as the head coach for 2010? Man, the dude couldn’t even run our offense respectably this year.

Bottom line: I’ll be glad to see this season end for the Gators. Next year’s team will have its own pile of drama to work through.

So Charlie Strong has decided that Louisville’s not such a bad program; it just needs a little love.

It’s interesting that they’ve gone for a defensive-minded coach after a run of clearly offensive (in the football way!) guys: John L. Smith, Bobby Petrino, and Steve Kragthorpe. I suppose that’s smart, considering the way Krags drove that pretty-good program into the ground the last couple years.

Rumors that Gators’ WR coach Billy Gonzalez would go along have been denied by Gonzalez, which is good news since he’s the recruiting coordinator, but many Gator defensive players say that they originally committed due to Strong’s attention, so it’s going to hurt UF a little.

In any case it’s good to see the number of African-American coaches inch up to 11; hey, that’s almost 10%! And when Rich Brooks steps down, Joker Philips will give the state of Kentucky’s two biggest schools Black coaches. Pretty good for a slaveholding state that fought for the Union—way to go, Bluegrass!

One last rumor: some are saying that Strong might go after Kerwin Bell, UF’s QB in the late ‘80s and currently the coach at Jacksonville University, as OC. Bell was the HS coach of Gator QB-in-waiting John Brantley.

Well, did anyone see that coming?

Sure, many observers thought Bama would beat Florida, but the total domination displayed by the Tide couldn’t have been reasonably predicted by disinterested folks. But one thing should have been a tip-off that Bama would win: the Great Satan does not like to lose, and he will do whatever it takes to avoid it. Bama players and coaches say that Saban spent the entire offseason, starting the day after the Sugar Bowl loss, breaking down the Gators (some might argue this started before the Sugar Bowl loss, as Bama didn’t seem that interested in playing Utah last January).

I was most impressed by the Bama O-line. They nearly completely kept the Gators out of the backfield, giving Greg McElroy time to find safe, short routes to hit, while also helping Mark Ingram gash the Gators for 113 yards on the ground and 76 on just two receptions. In the meantime, the Bama defense did to Florida what everyone expected Florida to do to them: they crowded the line and dared Tebow to beat them through the air, a task he was clearly not up to. Meantime, Jeff  Demps and Chris Rainey combined for three rushes (!) for 16 yards (!!). How many for Man Moody? Zero. Though he did manage to lose three yards on one reception.

Though Alabama deserves all the credit for this impressive performance, one still has to wonder at the Gators’ scheming. UF threw the ball on more than half of its first downs, hard to figure for a team at the top of the nation in rush yardage. This led to a lot of second and tens, leading to even fewer rushing attempts. This sure seemed to be the game where the loss of former OC Dan Mullen hurt the Gators the most.

At least next year the Gators will have a shot at redemption, playing at Tuscaloosa on October 2^nd in the fourth game of five in a row against 2009-10 bowl teams. But with Bama returning its offensive skill position players and much of its defense, they’ll be awfully tough to beat. And the Gators are going to be breaking in a raw quarterback as well.

Wait a second, why does that sound so familiar?

Okay, so I need to post an SEC CG preview, but tonight is my only night of interwebs access between Wednesday and Sunday, and problematically I’ve been forced to enjoy a large quantity (how much would be wrong to say publicly) of beer. And yet, I know our many, many fans will be sad if I don’t offer my insightful views.

Here it is in a nutshell. The Gator fan in me is filled with fear and anxiety, but the distanced football observer is comfortable in suggesting that Florida holds the cards in this game. The Gator secondary shut down Julio Jones last year, and they’re all back. Last year the Alabama WRs had John Parker Wilson, one of the best 3-4 QBs in Bama history slinging the ball toward them, but this year it’s caretaker QB Greg McElroy. Granted, UF doesn’t have Carlos Dunlap, but it seems that the Gators will learn from Auburn’s stacking of the box and daring McElroy to throw. Can Greggie dice up Janoris Jenkins and Joe Haden and company? It seems unlikely.

But wait, what about hip-pointer-shot-receiving RB Mark Ingram? Well, no RB has done much against UF, and consider this question: is UF or Auburn’s run defense better? Frankly, freshman Trent Richardson might be a more scary home run threat, but UF doesn’t allow lots of run yards.

Though UF’s offense can be clunky, the run game there seems too strong for Bama to contain for four quarters. UF will grind out yet another win, their 23rd straight. Bet on Deonte Thompson or David Nelson unexpectedly coming up with a big reception in the second half. You heard it here first.

Superstar Gators’ DE Carlos Dunlap, a possible first-round NFL pick next spring and a key to Florida pressure on opposing quarterbacks, chose the wee hours of the Tuesday before the BIGGEST FRIGGIN’ GAME OF THE YEAR to drive home so loaded he passed out at a traffic light and proceeded to snooze through a few cycles of red and green. Friendly officers switched off the ignition for him and then booked his ass for DUI. UF won’t have any formal comment till after today’s (Tuesday’s) practice, but clearly he’ll have to be held out of the SEC Championship on Saturday, if not even the Gators’ bowl game (though I suspect Urban will figure he’s done his time by then, particularly if that bowl is in Pasadena).

So it’s been a quiet week here at Fourth and Dumb. No action since Tuesday–hey, it’s like my marriage! Hey-o! Take my wife, please!

Sigh. Yeah, cheesy monologue material may be the way to go, as the college football season seems to have really stagnated here at the end of this season. Seriously, are there any games of import still happening? I’m too lazy to do the research, but I’m certain there are no more match-ups of two top-15 teams happening this week or next week. And even most of the rivalry games seem pretty lopsided this year. Today we get Ohio State-Michigan, for example, but outside of their fans, does that game jazz anyone this season? Same with next week’s Florida-FSU and Bama-Auburn: you just don’t think these games are going to be big ones. Or at least I don’t.

Anyway, there’s just one game in the SEC really worth watching for any normal people today (note that being abnormal, I fully expect to check out Vandy-Tennessee and Georgia Kentucky if I’m able): that’s LSU at Ole Miss. The Rebs seem to have awakened the offense a bit, with Dexter McCluster averaging 264 all-purpose yards the last four games, and Jevan Snead completing more passes to teammates than opponents. Still, the Tigers have a stout defense, and we can’t be sure Ole Miss won’t revert to old ways. I think this will be close, but the Rebs will pull it out to win by 2 or 3.

Florida and Bama get FIU and UT-Chattanooga, respectively. Let’s see if either team can crest 50; last year you’d expect the Gators to get 49 at half in a game like this, but though I expect Tebow to throw some long balls on the nation’s 118th-ranked defense, I think the Gates will still run a bunch and not score a ton of points. But I hope desperately that John Brantley gets some reps in the second half. For Bama, expect a steady diet of Mark Ingram, bolstering his Heisman hopes and not letting Greg McElroy lose any more confidence by throwing picks.

Georgia-Kentucky should be pretty competitive, and I’d be a boor not to pause to offer condolences to Bulldog Nation on the passing of UGA VII this week. I hope he’s got legs to hump in Dawg heaven (which, by the way, is near Schenectady, NY). Anyway, don’t be surprised to see Kentucky take the Dawgs down, but on the other hand, don’t count on it, either. Georgia throws for a ton of yards and wins close.

I’d love to think Vandy would give Tennessee a tough game at Knoxville, but their offense is too weak. If their D-line can play like they did against the Gators in The Swamp, they might be able to keep it close for a while, but their offense is so bad it doesn’t seem like they could do much with the field position their D might give them. Tennessee will win at around the spread of 17.

Miss State will try desperately to get bowl eligible, but Arkansas’s offense is too good for that. Still, Dan Mullen’s got the Other Bulldogs’ offense looking better than it has in forever. Expect good things from them in two years when he’s got the personnel his offense needs.

Before we get to the game, let us pause to mourn the end of the career (at UT, anyway) of Nu’Keese Richardson, who, along with scrub Mike Edwards, has been forever cast out of Knoxville. Oddly, Janzen Jackson is still there, so there must be something to the story we’re not getting yet (maybe he didn’t threaten anyone with a pellet gun?). But Gators everywhere are thankful to Lane Kiffin for taking Nuke from us. Thanks, Kiffy!

Adding to Kiffy’s tough week was the most interesting SEC development from this past weekend:  the long-awaited awakening of the Ole Miss offense we thought was going to play like this all year. Jevan Snead completed passes short and long, and Dexter McCluster gashed the Vols. Ole Miss may be rolling now, just in time to whip on LSU, but far too late to salvage its sky-high preseason hopes.

Georgia won a scorefest over Auburn, meaning the PlainsTigers have won only one game, against a non-conference foe, since I joined their bandwagon at the end of September and started predicting great things. You’re welcome, TigerEagles! But at least you’re bowl eligible.

The Gators continued to show that they are morphing into the Alabama team of 1961, grinding out games with running and defense. But that team won a national title, and I still think the Gators will do so (sure, I’m biased, what of it?). It’s a cliche, but right now the Gators really don’t seem that interested in their games. The offense putzes around, knowing the defense will mostly destroy people. No matter Pope Urban’s lectures about taking each game seriously, right now you have to figure the Gators players are sleeping and eating Alabama.

Speaking of the Tide, they efficiently rolled up the Other Bulldogs from Miss State and now get a scrimmage with UT-Chattanooga before heading to their showdown with the cow college kids from the Plains. Bama’s too focused to lose that game, but it’s a rivalry, so it might be interesting.

So there was this one big game this weekend, and it went the way a lot of us expected: Bama’s passing game looked pretty mediocre, save one giant play made by uber-talent Julio Jones, and Mark Ingram ground down the Tigers in the second half. And one other thing we expected: a crazy homer call for Alabama which seemed obviously wrong to every American not sworn to fealty to George Wallace or Bear Bryant.

So Bama wins 24-15 and stays on track for the BCS CG semi-final game against UF. Considering the seeming bad call against Florida that wasn’t overturned in the win over Arkansas, is there a clear conspiracy to get UF and Alabama into that game? Consider what this would entail: first, a clear desire on the part of the SEC to stage that match-up, as if an Alabama-Florida game somehow guarantees more money or exposure for the league than, say, having LSU or Georgia in the game; surreptitious communication of this plot to league officials along with directions on how to quietly execute calls; a hope that a call here or there could turn the game (certainly not always the case!); and then much hope that none of this gets out.

So, no, there’s no obvious conspiracy. As in almost any sport, officials tend to protect the home team, as well as the highly rated team. But a call here or there couldn’t protect Bama or Florida if they couldn’t win. Still, that shitty call screwed LSU, which sucks.

Bama still has some challenges ahead, with games at Miss State and Auburn (the former gave a good game to UF, so anything’s possible (though unlikely); the latter’s a rivalry game on the road), but they should get into the SEC game undefeated. Florida is at SC this weekend, which some of my Gator pals fear as a trap game, but frankly I can’t see it being close. The grind-it-out Gators will grind out another 14-17 point win, but it will likely be pretty dull, as many of their games have been.

So it will be UF and Bama undefeated. With their erratic offenses and stout defenses, anything can happen. And though we’re a ways away from needing my preview, let’s just consider one thing: both teams have top-five defenses and great run games, with mediocre but potentially explosive passing games. So what separates them? Well, in a big game, whom would you like leading your team: Greg McElroy or Tim Tebow?