Fourth and Dumb

For those of you dying of thirst for your five weekly college football plot lines, welcome to the oasis!  College football kicks off this week (in fact, it has happened already as Wake Forest is tearing into the Blue Hose of Presbyterian) as hope springs eternal in the 120 locker rooms of the Division I Football Bowl Subdivision.  After a summer of expansion drama, the NCAA getting tougher, and training camp injuries, the games that count are set to kick off.  Make sure to encapsulate these themes into your greater thought process while you digest ESPN’s BottomLine.

1.  Which teams will walk the walk (of shame) after losing to a Football Championship Subdivision team.

2.  How the warm breath of the NCAA affects the openers of teams in the crosshairs.

3.  Which teams leave a searing pain in their rivals in the opening weekend.

4.  Who emerges from uncertain quarterback situations in the opening weekend.

5.  Who remains in contention on America’s Got Mid-Major Talent.

Continue reading ‘Five Things We Will Learn This Weekend – Week 1’ »

While most teams are done playing games for now, the final weekend of the regular season will decide where those qualifying teams are headed for the holidays.  This Championship Week, we will learn:

1.  Who is denied an invitation to the postseason party.

2.  Who will win the conference championships.

3.  What intriguing bowl match-ups will be set up.

4.  Who will get snubbed for a BCS at-large spot.

5.  Who will play in the mythical national championship game.

Continue reading ‘Five Things We Will Learn This Weekend – Week 14’ »

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!  While we count our blessings and watch lots of football, chew on these storylines in the penultimate week of the regular season.  Presenting the express, tryptophan-ravaged, truncated version of this periodical.

1.  Which teams will earn spots in their conference’s championship games.

2.  Which teams will clinch their conference championships.

3.  Whether Maryland can avert its worst season ever.

Continue reading ‘Three Things We Will Learn This Weekend – Week 13’ »

1.  Whether postseason possibilities fall into place in the ACC.

2.  Who gets the upper hand during Rivalry Week in the Big Ten.

3.  Whether the Pac 10 Conference race tends toward sanity or chaos.

4.  Who will compete in the Big XII Championship Game.

5.  Who are set to emerge as the contestants in the Conference USA Championship Game.

Continue reading ‘Five Things We Will Learn This Weekend – Week 12’ »

Even before I sit down to punch out this weekend’s preview column, we have the week’s likely number one officiating controversy.  It occurred in last night’s West Virginia-Cincinnati game.  I provide the youtube link until it is DMCA-takedowned (and then replace it with some schmoe taking a video of his television), you decide.  My first thought upon seeing this unfold, besides the reminder that referees are very fallable, was “why are there not dedicated goal-line cameras to better ascertain whether or not the football crosses the plane?”

That is the past, here is the future.

1.  Whether the ACC Championship Game matchup is determined.

2.  Who the Big Ten representative in the Rose Bowl is.

3.  Who remains in contention for the Rose Bowl from the Pac 10.

4.  Whether Texas makes it official in the Big XII South.

5.  Which teams will remain eligible to be Bowling with the Stars.

Continue reading ‘Five Things We Will Learn This Weekend – Week 11’ »

After East Carolina fans put forth Thursday night the delight that was the Pirate Out, does it not seem like the [insert color here] Out theme has jumped the shark?  Anyway, some thoughts as Week 10 gets into full swing.

1.  Whether the Atlantic Coast Conference will trend toward chaos or sanity in Week 10.

2.  Whether the Big XII North will trend towards chaos or sanity in Week 10.

3.  Who remains in the Big Ten title race.

4.  How the Pac 10 bowl order starts to sort itself out.

5.  Whether the Big East powers avoid tripping up before the dogfights to come.

Continue reading ‘Five Things We Will Learn This Weekend – Week 10’ »

1.  Who takes control of the Big XII South…and if anyone steps up in the Big XII North.

2.  Who emerges from Eugene as the Pac 10 frontrunner.

3.  Whether any other crazy upsets occur in the Atlantic Coast Conference.

4.  Who assumes command of the minor conference races.

5.  ???

Continue reading ‘Five Things We Will Learn This Weekend – Week 9’ »

Ready or not, here Week 8 comes.

1.  Whether there will be clarification in the Atlantic Coast Conference division races.

2.  Whether the Big Ten Conference will come down to November 14 in Columbus.

3.  Whether Texas becomes set to put a sleeperhold on the Big XII Conference.

4.  Whether two losses is crippling in the Pacific 10 Conference.

5.  Which teams will remain eligible to be Bowling with the Stars.

Continue reading ‘Five Things We Will Learn This Weekend – Week 8’ »

There will be neither a Five Things We Will Learn This Weekend nor What We Learned This Weekend column this week.  That is not to say there are not things we will learn this weekend, but that they will be, as the Ontario license plates say, yours to discover.  Enjoy the football, boys and girls.

Week 6 coming at you right now!  Will you be served?

1.  Who steps up and takes the early lead in the Big XII Conference.

2.  Whether Bobby Bowden proves the doubters wrong in Week 6.

3.  Which of the Big Ten’s undefeated teams stay that way.

4.  Which potential threats to USC arise in Week 6.

5.  Whether any elephants appear in the room in the SEC.

Continue reading ‘Five Things We Will Learn This Weekend – Week 6’ »